My Book Themed Baby Shower

I have fabulous friends!! They threw me a beautiful book themed baby shower last weekend. From the beautiful handmade invitations, gorgeous decorations and delicious food I couldn’t have been more spoiled. I have a HUGE collection of children’s books. Some people collect stamps, (do people really still do that?) but I collect children’s books. I guess it’s the elementary teacher in me. So it was easy to decide what the theme of my baby shower would be. All the food was carefully coordinated to go along with a book and some of my favorites, including my own “self published” work, were on display. I was so pleased to see that so many of my friends were able to make it, including two of my coworkers whom I adore.  I received some of the most darling, feminine little outfits that I’m dying to dress this little lady in. I also was given lots of great advice. I couldn’t imagine a shower that was more perfect for me. I am a blessed woman to have so many wonderful people in my life. 

The shower followed the same itinerary as many I’ve been to before. My guests trickled in and mingled for the first 30 min, then we enjoyed an early lunch and more socializing. After 30-45 min we gathered to go over the questions to the shower game. We played “Who knows Mom the Best.” It was all questions about me and my pregnancy. I have to admit it was pretty hard but I was surprised to see who knew the answers to what. (I’ve included the questions and answers at the bottom of the post.) After the game I opened gifts and ow’ed and aw’ed over all the generous and thoughtful things people had given me. It was so fun to be surrounded by so many people I love.  It was absolutely perfect! Thank you Amanda, Ashley, Corinne, Louise and Megan for all the time and effort you put into making this even so special. I’m so very blessed.

What is your birthday? June 27^th, 1987

What was your height and weight at birth? 7 lbs. 11oz and 21 inches

What was your first word? Mom, but that’s a guess. My mom doesn’t remember.

Where did you grow up? Columbus, Ohio

What was your favorite childhood book? Any of the Bernstein Bear Books

Where did you and your husband meet? Rexburg Temple Open House

How long were you together before you conceived? Married for 4 years and 8 Months

Who was the first person you told you were pregnant? Mike’s sister Camille who was also expecting.

How did you tell Mike you were expecting? In a customized fortune cookie at P.F. Changs, he thought it was a joke and didn’t believe me.

When id baby girl Jenson due? January 17^th, 2014

What's the theme of your nursery (or colors)? Soft pink and gray with a light teal accent

What's been your biggest food craving during pregnancy? Probably Peanut Butter, nothing else consistently

What do you like best about being pregnant? Feeling/watching the baby move

What do you like least about being pregnant? Water retention and heartburn

How many kids do you think you want total? Playing it by ear, between 4 and 6

My Apologies

I have to apologize. Before I got pregnant I didn’t understand. As one who had never been pregnant I didn’t realize what implications a simple, well meaning, observation could have. Let me explain. I saw pregnancy as a thing of beauty. I was so happy watching my friends’ progress in their pregnancies. As their little baby grew bigger, inevitably so did their belly. As they entered their third trimester I may have said, albeit well meaning and adoringly, “you are getting so big, how exciting!”  What I meant by that was “I’m so excited your little one is coming soon and your adorable, growing tummy is proof. You look fantastic by the way.”  But alas, that is not what I said… and what I might as well of said was “Holy Smokes! You are getting HUGE! When is that baby coming? Not soon enough by the looks of it.”

I obviously don’t speak for all pregnant women or any pregnant women really, but I feel like someone needs to educate society on things you should and should NOT say to a pregnant women. I understand most of it is meant in the very nicest of ways and in a polite attempt at conversation. I get it, I’ve been there. But now I’m here, rounding the corner to eight months pregnant, and I just want people to know what is going through my head when someone tries to engage me in a polite conversation about my pregnancy and appearance.

I first should start by admitting that I’ve never loved my body. I have a very distinct memory of myself at age five, looking down at my pudgy fingers and little belly bulging in a swimsuit and thinking “I’m fat.” Five years old, and I thought that. I look at pictures of my 5 year old self now and laugh because I wasn’t fat, I was adorable (minus the bowl haircut and coke bottle glasses, but that’s another story.) I just wasn’t supper skinny like my best friend. Those feelings of having an inadequate body have plagued me my whole life. Even in the times when my weight was at its lowest and I looked great, I still thought it wasn’t good enough. With every bite I take I think about how many calories I am consuming, with every piece of chocolate, large or small, the guilt is lingering in the back of my head. I don’t think I’m alone in the way I feel about my body though. I think a lot of women have an unrealistic idea of what they should look like because of the media. Again, that’s another post for another day, but the background is necessary.

I had someone come up to me the other day. The conversation went something like this.

“Hi! I didn’t even recognize you! You look so different. Your face looks completely different. You can definitely tell you’re pregnant.” 

I didn’t have much to add to the brief encounter because I was a little taken aback. I was trying to tell myself that the comments were not meant as I had taken them. To me this person had just said,

“Oh My Word! Kristin, is that you? Holy Cow, {^Thought bubble – she looks like a cow^} you’re face is so big and bloated and your belly is really getting big. You look huge and pregnant these days.”

I know this person was not trying to be rude. I know they meant well. However, it made me feel horrible. I promptly threw away the cookie I was about to eat and went away to sulk. 

A few days later another friendly person approached me and asked how my pregnancy was going. This time they asked if I was having a boy or a girl. When I responded that I was having a girl they then told me they thought so because of the way I looked. When they were pregnant with their girl they gained their weight on their hips, thighs and bottom as well.

Perfect, now not only does my face look fat, my hips, thighs and bottom are noticeably larger. I understand that this happens in pregnancy. I’m dealing with it, but I don’t want others to point it out. I just want them to tell me I look great.

Another person saw me and commented on how big my belly looked and how I must be ready to have the baby already. I had already fought with my shrinking wardrobe that morning to find an outfit that FIT, not even one that was flattering. {At this point I just want to wear shirts that don’t make me look like Mr. Schmee.} Look, I know my belly is big, and it’s going to get A LOT bigger… What will people say to me in 8 more weeks?

Then there is the ever present, way to frequent, “Are you tired? You look like you’re having a rough day.” To these people I want to respond…

“Tired?  No! I feel great! I got 10 hours of sleep last night. You must be referring to the bags under my eyes and my swollen face. Those are pregnancy related and I can’t do anything about it.”

Friends, I’m pregnant. I recognize that my body is changing. As someone who has spent the majority of her life stepping on a scale in the morning hoping it reads a little less than the day before, it is HARD to step on it and see it read 20, 25, or 30 lbs. MORE than it EVER has. I understand that I’m growing another human inside and that this is a natural thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am trying to stay healthy while pregnant. I exercise a few times a week, snack on fruits and veggies, small portions… blah, blah, blah. But I only have some control over what my body is going to do. Hormones can be a beast and I’m trying to handle all the changes pregnancy is making on my body with grace {and a bit of humor, sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh.} 

All of this said; please understand I am GRATEFUL for these changes to my body, because I know what they mean. My body is creating and carrying a miracle and I feel so blessed to be able to have this experience. I wouldn’t trade any of it. Not the bags under my eye, my bloated fingers and face, not my widening hips or my large belly.  I LOVE that I am blessed each day to look down at my big belly and see my baby moving. I LOVE THAT! I recognize that some women would do anything to have the experience of pregnancy, so I won’t for one minute complain about any of it. That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to explain that while you may think that you are making polite conversation with your pregnant friend you could actually be making them feel self conscious about their ever changing body. Doesn’t everyone women what to feel beautiful? Young or old, skinny or obese, pregnant or not, it doesn’t matter, we ALL want to feel beautiful. 

So what should you say to a pregnant friend? Try something like, “You look great!” “You are glowing! “ “I’m so excited for you. I can’t wait to meet your little one.” “You’re eight months pregnant? You look so small!” All of these would be acceptable. And if I truly do look terrible, and you can’t stand the thought of lying to me about the way I look… then just don’t say anything about my pregnancy. I don’t need to talk about pregnancy all the time. Talk to me like I’m not pregnant. If you want to make polite conversation, ask about the weather or my weekend.  It’s doesn’t matter I’m pretty friendly and good at keeping a conversation going. 

There I said it. I feel so much better now. If you think you have made a comment to someone that could have been misinterpreted, don’t worry. You’re forgiven. I know you didn’t mean to and you had the best of intentions. Now you know for next time what you might say instead. :) Your welcome!

Traditional Fall Fun and Corn Maze

Since we've been married we have created our own little family fall traditions. One is that we always go to a corn maze. Over the past few years we have been to a few and I haven't been impressed. A few of our friends have told us about Barton Orchards in NY and how great it is. I was excited to find out they had an orchard as well as a corn maze and several other fun fall things. So last Saturday we made the one hour trip north to the orchard. It was a beautiful day! I can't believe how warm the weather has been for this time of year. At one point I was curing myself for wearing jeans.

There is a lot to do at the orchard and we got there a little past noon. We were both hungry so we went to look for food. I was shocked that so many people were there. I shouldn't have been though, it really was a gorgeous fall day and this is the place to be on a gorgeous day in the fall. We had to wait almost 45 min to get lunch. It was worth it to me because I got a pepper/onion sausage wedge with LOTS of spicy deli mustard, which is my new favorite. Honestly, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. We had out lunch while listening to a live band play some beach boys, the atmosphere was great.

After lunch we walked around and went to check out this family fun area. It did look like a lot of fun for kids, but for the two of us it wasn't that exciting. Maybe when our kids are a little older. Then we went to the corn maze. As mentioned we had done a few and none have presented a challenge. This one however was 5 ACRES... so we knew it would be a different story. They gave us a little packet with a word game in it. (You had to find all the word stations to find the missing letters in the mystery word. Then it had a section where you had to do 9 crayon rubbings that you would find in the maze. On the back was a map of the maze, but you could only see it when put under a viewing station found somewhere in the maze. I was very ambitious at first and wanted to find all the word, rubbing and look out stations in addition to finding our way out. It was clear after about 20 min that our objective was simply - find your way out. This maze was HUGE! We saw several people hold a flag up to signal they needed help, we were determined to at least do it on our own. I think we did pretty good. We applied some strategy and made in out in just over an hour or so. 

As we exited the maze we could smell the warm, homemade apple cider doughnuts. We had been waiting all day to get them. Our friends told us they were the best donuts (I never know which was way is the most socially accepted way to spell doughnuts) they had ever had. I had a hard time believing that, because donuts happen to be a weakness of mine, I've eaten my fair share of out of this world donuts. I wasn't sure how these would add up but I was excited to have one. They sold them in dozen, half dozen and single form. Our friends had asked us to get them a dozen. I even called to confirm that she really wanted a dozen donuts for two people. Mike and I were only getting a half dozen and one single to eat on the spot. I should have known by the size of the line that the donuts would be good and I should have gone with the irrational part of my mind that said "get a dozen." Oncortunanly, after 30 min of waiting in line I got half a dozen for us and the single. Since mike was waiting in line for a milkshake else where I had to walk over to meet him. The donuts I had gotten were still warm and I started to eat my half of the donut n the way to meet Mike. HOLY MOTHER of DONUT GOODNESS!! It was the best donut I had ever had. It was a cake donut, but still light and not to dense.  It almost melted in your mouth, if you had the will power to actually let it stay in your mouth before swallowing it all in one bite. So good. Mike might not have gotten his equal share, but I figured the baby needed her taste too ;) We debated getting more but didn't want to wait in the long line again. It was probably for the best though. I'm trying really hard to watch what I eat when it comes to junk food. 

Mike spent the next 35 min waiting in line for a milkshake that turned out to be less than mediocre. While he waited on his shake I checked out the orchard. I didn't like that they made you buy a bag and pick a minimum amount of apples, I only wanted a few so I decided to opt out of the apple picking part of our trip. Maybe next time. 

We headed home shorty after Mike finished his shake. I got some hot apple cider for the road, even though it was 75 and a cold bottle of water made much more since, it's all part of the experience. It was the picture perfect fall day. OSU was even kind enough to have a by that week so I didn't have to rush home to watch them. Seriously a great day. I love our little family traditions. 

Months 5 and 6

  

How far along: 27 weeks and 1 day
Total weight gain: 22 lbs.
Maternity clothes:  I ordered a TON of clothes online this week and am anxiously awaiting on them to come. I need maternity work pants and jeans ASAP!
Stretch marks: Not yet
Sleep: Normal
Best moment of this week: Finding an awesome sale on baby clothes at baby gap with Amanda!

  Miss anything: Being able to breath out of my nose normally all the time.
Movement: Lots kicks and punches. I can see the baby when she moves now and it is kind of freaking, but mostly cool :)
Food cravings: Peanut Butter and chocolate anything. I don't give in to this graving often because its so unhealthy but I do really want it all the time. I also love sour/spicy/salty things more than normal. For example I prefer deli mustard to regular mustard, I want banana peppers on my salads, I love pita chips and popcorn. I try really hard to not eat the things I crave as often as I crave them though.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Driving Mikes car makes me sick. I can't stand the way it smells.
Have you started to show yet: Please!
Gender: Girl
Labor signs: Nope
Belly button in or out: in, but slowly changing

 Wedding rings on or off: I don't wear my wedding bands becasue they are to tight so I just wear my engagement ring.

Looking forward to: Snuggling our little girl and dressing her up in darling little clothes!

Week 27:

My thoughts on breast-feeding include giving it my best shot, being open to what is most realistic. I know it will be hard and I hope that my body will be able to produce enough milk for baby.

Some discomfort I'm having right now includes frequent stuffy noses.

The way I deal with it is wearing nose strips to bed and always having tissues handy.

For breakfast, I'm often in the mood for half a whole wheat beagle with natural peanut butter and a banana.

For lunch it is usually a salad or left overs

My favorite snacks are pita chips with string cheese, skinny pop popcorn, apples, grapes, peach applesauce, chobani yogurt and edemame.

For dinner I just eat smaller portions or I feel very uncomfortable. 

My perfect day includes no work, no class, no babysitting, baby clothes shopping with Amanda, a dinner date with Mike, being caught up with school work so I don't have to do homework, a clean organized house,a good work out and an episode of Scandal or Once Upon a Time.

Baby, about true love, I think its accepting someone the way that they are. Seeing past all their flaws and finding the good intentions of their heart. I don't think true love is meant for just husband and wife, but for family and close friends as well.

  

Week 26: 

This baby seems more real than ever.

The baby's room is coming along. Dresser is finished, bookcase is painted, brib put together... it's coming along.

My Birth plan includes trying to go natural and avoiding and epidural. And possibly a water birth, but I don't think my practice does that.

Worse case sceanari, I'm planning on just going with the flow and doing what feels right at that time.

Baby, when it comes to religion I want you to know, that I have a testimony of the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. I know you are only on loan to us while you are here on earth for you are a child of your Heavenly Father.

Week 25

My feelings towards my partner this wee are grateful, loving, emotional. But secretly I wish he would frequently acknowledge my sacrifice to bare his child :)

I never realized how much I loved peanut butter until I got pregnant.

During the day, I'm working hard and trying to stay organized. At night, I'm ready to crash, but my constant stuff nose can make this hard.

My perfect meal right now is almost anything I'd normally want with a chocolate peanut butter milkshake for dessert.

Baby, I think our most important decision for you will be all of the decisions we make as we try to decide which parenting methods will work best for your personality.

 

Week 24: 

When I'm on the move, I feel slower than normal (like when I was trying to keep up with Bryant at the OSU game) but I can still move quick if I need to. 

The temperature I need right now is cool with 0% humidity.

I'm wearing my belly abnd all the time these days.

I've started thinking about the birth. When I do, I'm most focused on hot to avoid the process in general. So far I have only been about to come up with the stork delivering the baby to me option. Some say that its to late for that.

Baby, when it comes to the important things in life, more than anything, I hope you choose to keep the Lord and your family close. 

Week 23:

Right now, exercise consists mostly of my normal workout which is only 35 min on the elliptical, 3-5 times a week.

Lately, I've been thinking that what makes someone a good mother is patience, understanding, desire to be a good mother and obviously unconditional love.

When I'm with other peoples kids, I notice nothing really. I don't see much of my friends with my current schedule. 

And having a flay stomach seems like forever ago to me.

Baby, when it comes to college someday I hope you go to a school that is affordable because I'm not paying for college :) J/K - kind of. I hope you take college seriously and excel. 

Week 22:

When people touch my belly, it's... no one is really touching my belly.

Stretch marks are still a non issue, give it time.

When people make comments about the size of my belly, my response is "Thanks, I sure don't feel as tiny or as great as you say." or I say nothing, because what do you say when someone tell you that you are getting big? lol.

Other than patience and compassion, my plan is come what may and love it.

Baby, I don't expect youo to be perfect, I'll support you by telling you how wonderful and loved you are. Encouraging you to do the things that make you happy and loving you even when you make mistakes. I will do my best to show love in all I do.

 

Week 21:

The Baby's movements feel like a swift kick in the bladder

I'm buying this baby not much yet. I should probably change that, even though I have no idea what I'm suppose to do with it all.

My parents are acting like everything is business as usual, and it makes me feel like they don't remember I'm having a baby. Then again, I hardly remember I'm having a baby.

The things I am most excited about this week is feeling her get stronger and stronger.

Baby, I'm not perfect. Something I'm working on becoming better for you is putting things into perspective and not being so stressed all the time.

It's a Girl

 
 When we started tell people we were expecting one of the first questions they asked was "Are you going to find out what you're having." When we said "yes, most certainly" we got mixed reactions from people. I was honestly surprised to find that so many people do wait till the baby is delivered to find out what they are having. While I can completely appreciate and understand there reasoning for waiting, that's so not my personality. I want to have everything picked out and cute and ready to go.  When it was time to schedule the anatomy scan (where you find out the gender of the baby) I realized it wouldn't be till the end of the summer. That was far to long to wait. I wanted to be able to tell Mike's family in Utah that summer and I wanted my family to be apart of the gender reveal festivities. I was planning to go to Ohio the first week of Aug and would be leaving the day that I turned 17 weeks. I had read that you can get a gender reading as early as 16 weeks so I asked my dad if we could use the ultrasound machine at the hospital where he works.

The ultrasound tech agreed and we made an appt for the day before I was to go home. I felt a little sad that Mike wouldn't be in the room with me when they told me the gender of the baby. So I devised a plan to make it as fair as possible. When I had the ultrasound I looked away when they started looking for the gender. My dad and the tech were not allowed to use gender words and I was not allowed to have the faintest idea at what it could be. My mom and sister were in the room with me as well. My sister had to play my game with me and look away. My mom however would not play my game. "This is my first grand baby and I this is the only ultrasound I'll be able to go to so I want to see everything." I didn't argue with her, and she was able to be in on the secret. So both my parents knew before Mike and I.

During the ultra sound the tech and my dad thought they were about 60% sure they knew what it was. Before they ended the appt they went back to look one more time. This time they got a clearer image and decided they were 85% sure. So I knew whatever they told us wasn't 100% until we went to the scan at the hospital ion Stamford, but that 85% were pretty good odds.

My mom wrote the gender in and index car and stuck it in an envelope. We took it to out local bakery and asked them to make a cake that was colored either blue or pink depending on the gender of the baby.

That night the whole family sat down to dinner together. This was tricky to arrange with the work and sport schedules of my sibling. It was a fun family dinner. After we finished eating we facetimed Mike who was at home anxious to hear the news.

We both thought it was going to be a boy. Mike thought that way because he really, really wanted a boy first, as most men do. I thought it would be a boy only because I had spent the last 14 weeks trying not to get my hopes up. I really wanted a girl first. I have been praying for a girl first since before I was married. I didn't want to be disappointed if it was a boy though, so I just told myself it was a boy.

Right before I went to cut the cake I had my dad give Mike his version of what he saw on the ultrasound. While he was talking he said "I can't be 100% sure because it's still very small." I took this as, it was a boy but his manhood was still very small." My mom made a face that said "you just let it slip" and I vocalized that I felt like he just ruined the surprise. As much as I had prepared myself for a boy I still felt like pouting at that moment. Maybe because I thought it was a boy and maybe because I was sad the surprise had been ruined right before I cut the cake. I didn't feel like cutting the cake anymore. Pregnancy hormones. No one else could stand the suspense so they had me cut the cake.... and it was PINK. I was so excited! My mom had tried to trick me and I played right into it. I was so thrilled to have my girl first. Mike was shocked to hear it was a girl, but after the shock wore off he was excited as well. In the end all we really wanted was a healthy baby, the gender doesn't matter. We would be happy with any child we were blessed to have, boy or girl.

 Katie refused to admit it was a girl. She still calls the baby a "boy." Maybe next time Katie. Also please note the goofy faces the girls are making in these pictures. First KT is making a face at Mike on the ipad, then Lizzie is making a face at Bryant who was taking the pictures. Silly girls. They will be the funnest aunts, I know my daughter will adore them, as will they adore her.